Comments on: Positions of authority make narcissist’s life easy

By: Lori Hoeck

Lori Hoeck — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 16:06:08 +0000

Hi Barbara,
That’s one reason I write this site! The young and naive need to be clued in to the warning signs of emotional predators and the traits of narcissists. My hope is parents pass on this information as well. Once teens and young adults know these insights, they have more power to make wise choices in relationships.

By: Barbara Swafford

Barbara Swafford — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 10:18:55 +0000

Hi Lori,

Years ago I worked for a woman whom I suspect was a narcissist. I was too young and naive to realize what was happening, but ironically a couple of years later I ended up with her job.

By: Lori Hoeck

Lori Hoeck — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 21:45:33 +0000

Hi Davina,
There’s nothing wrong with using power to motivate, it’s just that a narcissists uses it to create an ongoing supply of narcissistic supply. Narcissists rarely understand mutual respect.

Hi Vered,
Good to hear it! I’m glad your authority figures were made of different stuff. It seems like narcissists are on the rise, so I’m happy you missed out!

By: vered | blogger for hire

vered | blogger for hire — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 20:44:44 +0000

Fortunately, I haven’t! Sounds like a terrible position to be in.

By: Davina

Davina — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 21:54:32 +0000

I had a boss who “appeared” to use her power to control those that worked for her. It was difficult to work for her. Looking back, I have a sneaking suspicion that her act was more of a cry for help. She didn’t believe in her own skills and was trying to make herself look stronger than she felt. We never got on too well, but there was still an underlying chord of respect for each other.

By: Lori Hoeck

Lori Hoeck — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 16:25:25 +0000

Hi Janice,
Read lots of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s stuff! He’s been influential with my husband and I in the practice what Dyer calls non-interference. His movie The Shift rocks — makes you really think about life transitions.

By: janice

janice — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:53:24 +0000

Hi, Lori,
The more I read this excellent series, the more I fear I could become a Dark Heart to my kids. Thanks for making me aware enough to do something to avoid it getting worse.

By: Lori Hoeck

Lori Hoeck — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 03:51:53 +0000

Hi Betsy,
I think they wire up a relationship so that they have people thinking a lot about them, perhaps because they are so parental, or require people to walk on eggshells, or are so invasive in certain areas that they create hooks to keep their underlings unbalanced, yet coming back for more.

By: Betsy Wuebker

Betsy Wuebker — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 03:35:42 +0000

Hi Lori – Yeah, in the 1980’s I worked for a guy who was a narcissist and more than likely a functioning alcoholic (self-medicating?). I bought the book “Coping with Difficult People” because of him. I found that once I realized I didn’t have any trouble getting a job elsewhere, the perception that I needed to keep the job working with him or else I would starve or something faded away to nothing. Still, it was amazing I stayed in that position for a couple of years. I also realized that he was a far more important part of my life than I was in his. I constantly thought about work and what he would be doing, yet I finally realized he rarely gave me a second thought. When the lack of balance in that sunk in, I was out of there.