I took Women’s studies classes and learned how mind-boggling tough pioneer women were because they made almost everything from scratch, including soap. I figured if those women could do so much, so well, who was I to value myself less in this day and age?

‘Cuz I just stinkin’ have to.

So far, even though I’ve given it my best shot, the world isn’t an altruistic place where lambs and lions lie down together and all god’s chilluns want only the best for one another. I tried living life with that vision and all it got me was a lousy t-shirt. a divorce, and a couple of years in Alanon.

What empowered me to stand up for myself was the realization that I was worthy of taking up just as much space as any man and breathing as much air as anyone else. That I am ‘good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn-it, people like me.” Seriously….I took a few women’s studies classes and they changed my life for the better. (My kids lives too).

And that’s another important motivation for ’standing up for me’: Kids learn by example.

Very nice post…thank you for the question!

Hugs,
CZ

Hi Janice,
I think a lot of people have a sense of fairness that helps them speak up for others, but past issues that make them less likely to speak up for themselves. I’m glad you have four pillars to draw strength from!

I’ve never had any problems standing up for myself with others; I was always that quiet wee girl who stepped up unexpectedly to confront a bully or an unfair teacher to protect someone vulnerable. I’ve always had supportive instincts and a deeply rooted sense of fairness.

But I’ve always found it much harder to stand up to my own ego if it gets out of control and starts creating self doubt, unhelpful comparisons with others and pointless self-censorship. I’ve been waging war against dodgy, wavering self esteem for years, and like most folk, because the origins go way back, the problem can sometimes rear its ugly head like a virulent virus when I think I’ve finally exorcised the demons.

Four things come to mind that empower me. My faith, because it’s always there and isn’t vulnerable to the shifting sands of circumstance; my husband, who has always seen and nurtured the best in me; my kids, who represent unconditional love and for whom I try to be my best self, and my writing. I’ve never bothered what folk thought of it because I know who I am, why I write and where my writing comes from. It keeps me present, engaged, grateful and connected, and I’ve always treasured those moments of connection with folk who have genuinely appreciated it and have reached out to tell me.

Our greatest gift is that we are all capable of defying our nature. We have to use this gift to make the best out of life.

Hi Betsy,
“Being completely convicted in purpose and deed is truly inspirational and magnetic” — I’ve noticed this helps someone become a leader who has never tried to be one before. It is powerful stuff.

Good post and thoughts to dwell on ..

If you could bottle this “confidence is just who/what I am,” you would be a millionaire!

Hi Mark,
Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment.

What we let in from outside is our choice, isn’t it? And yet, sometimes it’s a tough thing to learn!

Hi Davina,
Greg and I have been talking about the power of communicating truth recently. When our words come from that place, it seems our confidence is more natural.