Isn’t that wonderfully apt? The authors add this gem about relationships with narcissists or crazymakers, “You veer between wanting to kill them and wanting to kill yourself.”
The book is “The Artist’s Way at Work – Riding the Dragon. Twelve Weeks to Creative Freedom” by Mark Bryan, with Julia Cameron and Catherine Allen.
To Think Like a Black Belt and learn self defense against a narcissist, it’s good to know their tricks and traits, and teach them to your children. Here are five ways Dark Hearts can be crazymakers (an in-depth list of 100 narcissistic traits is here.):
1) Their time, schedules, energy, drama, and life issues always outweigh yours
From the book:
“Crazymakers thrive on drama, and melodrama requires a sense of impending doom. Everything is an emergency, a deadline, a matter of life and death, or something they will get to eventually. Read ‘never’ … Nearly any situation can be cast as melodrama to support a crazymaker’s plot lines …”
2) They expect special treatment
As the book authors write,
“They suffer a colorful variety of ailments that require your care whenever you have an important deadline or anything that deflects your attention from their demands.”
They also demand special treatment in their daily lives:
- Do you know that man or woman who loves to insist the doctor or chiropractor in the house stop what they are doing and treat them right now?
- Ever met someone who grandiosely insists the dining party sit a certain place in a restaurant?
- Have you watched someone work a situation so they always come across as the Alpha wolf, whether they deserve the leadership position or not?
3 ) They belittle and downplay your needs, emergencies, and requests
Despite howling over a broken nail, a crazymaker will say your requests for their time or help are just so much drama — a way for you to get attention. They might also add, that you are disrespectfully expecting too much of their good will or prevailing too much on their valuable time.
“Crazymakers discount your reality. Your pressing agendas – however real – are never as real, as important, as critical as a crazymaker’s drama of the moment.”
4) They triangulate to stay in power
One Dark Heart I know compartmentalizes all information so much one staff member doesn’t know what the other is doing, so no real coordination can occur. Of course coordination like that would mean some power slips into the hands of the staff, and a narcissist can’t handle that.
Crazymakers also elevate gossip to an art form of power and control. (But be wary of accusing them of it, or they will say they are only trying to help others and how could you be so cruel to think otherwise?)
“They are experts at gossip, at feeding paranoia, at driving wedges between working colleagues.”
One Dark Heart made sure I knew who the sole dissenting voter was in a secret meeting involving a decision about me. Despite saying that he wanted teamwork among his staff, he tried to subtlety create rivalry instead.
5) They sow the wind, while others reap the whirlwind
When I think of the term crazymaker, I see Taz, the cartoon Tasmanian Devil, stirring up the world with his manic spins. Dark Hearts adore making much ado about nothing. As the authors put it:
- “A crazymaker is someone who makes you crazy by constantly stirring up storms.”
- “‘Normal’ doesn’t serve their need for power.”
- “Everything is always their problem, but nothing is their fault.”
Theirs is a world of trumped up conflict, confusion, and chaos.
Beware the crazymakers!
Want to know more? Take a look at
The Narcissist — A User’s Guide
Ever had a crazymaker in your life? Feel free to leave any helpful advice to readers about them in the comments below. Please keep it clean, though! This is a family site.
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