Statutes of nine African-American teenagers who stood up to an angry crowd protesting integration in front of Little Rock's Central High as they entered the school for the first time.

As a long-time martial artist and senior instructor, I’ve seen people stumble or argue over the idea of a Peaceful Warrior or “learning to fight so you don’t ever have to.”

There is a balance between inner strength that leads to peace and the inner warrior that honors self and society by being ever ready to prevail against evil with weapons or wiliness.

But there is a type of defense against injustice and the forces of darkness that requires a completely different approach than what most martial artist or combat trained individuals would advocate.

It’s called nonviolent protest. Martin Luther King Jr. advocated it as well as Gandhi and Lech Walesa. The idea is to achieve cultural, social or political goals via symbolic marches and protests, civil disobedience, non-cooperation, and other nonviolent means. (It’s not the same as defending yourself against a rapist, thief, or home intruder.)

The protesters believe suffering for a moment at the hands of the unjust (as being beaten by police or knocked down with water hoses) will eventually awaken and win the hearts and minds of the majority. They are willing to put themselves on the line to improve the lives of all, especially future generations.

The Five Principles of Nonviolence

from Martin Luther King, Jr.

1.  Non-violent resistance is not a method for cowards. It does resist. The nonviolent resister is just as strongly opposed to the evil against which he protests, as is the person who uses violence. His method is passive or nonaggressive in the sense that he is not physically aggressive toward his opponent, but his mind and emotions are always active, constantly seeking to persuade the opponent that he is mistaken. This method is passive physically but strongly active spiritually; it is nonaggressive physically but dynamically aggressive spiritually.

2.  Nonviolent resistance does not seek to defeat or humiliate the opponent, but to win his friendship and understanding. The nonviolent resister must often express his protest through noncooperation but he realizes that noncooperation is not the ends itself; it is merely means to awaken a sense of moral shame in the opponent.

3.  The attack is directed against forces of evil rather than against persons who are caught in those forces. It is a struggle between justice and injustice, between the forces of light and the forces of darkness.

4.  Nonviolent resistance avoids not only external physical violence, but also internal violence of spirit. At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.

5. Nonviolence is based on the conviction that the universe is on the side of justice. It is the deep faith in the future that allows a nonviolent resister to accept suffering without retaliation. The nonviolent resister knows that in his struggle for justice, he has a cosmic companionship.

Here is the Pledge MLK’s followers were expected to take and fulfill when involved with non-violent protests:

1.   As you prepare to march meditate on the life and teachings of Jesus

2.   Remember the nonviolent movement seeks justice and reconciliation – not victory.

3.   Walk and talk in the manner of love; for God is love.

4.   Pray daily to be used by God that all men and women might be free.

5.   Sacrifice personal wishes that all might be free.

6.   Observe with friend and foes the ordinary rules of courtesy.

7.   Perform regular service for others and the world.

8.   Refrain from violence of fist, tongue and heart.

9.   Strive to be in good spiritual and bodily health.

10. Follow the directions of the movement leaders and of the captains on demonstrations.

Courage takes many forms. It’s easy to start a fight. And quite frankly it’s easy to end one, too, if you are trained. But to face suffering willingly without throwing a punch back, without hurling insults, without doing anything but allowing the world to witness the injustice — even though you know you could extricate yourself from the situation — well, that’s a unique courage few have the stomach to take.

Would you take this approach and this pledge if you wanted to march or protest against something you considered unjust?

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Lori Hoeck

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Photo:  Steve Snodgrass

The smash technopop hit Bulletproof sung by Elly Jackson of the musical duo La Roux speaks to that desire we all have to find place where fear and doubt are banished behind a skilled resolve not to be hurt by unsafe people.

(Face it, with a hairdo akin to Woody Woodpecker, Jackson has to have some thick skin and a fairly bulletproof ego. OK, it’s just a persona for the stage, but still…)

Don’t we all want that level of confidence and that comfort within our own skin? You know, that often elusive point where we own our lives so completely no one–even our lesser selves–can push our buttons, manipulate our emotions, or intimidate us. It’s what this site is all about, learning to Think Like A Black Belt.

How does it happen?

Training

This can be intentional or not, but it must be either ongoing or more reality based than not.  As a martial artist and Emergency Medical Technician (EMT), I trained for years. No syllabus or pop quizzes came with my time on the family farm, wilderness camping, and pushing the envelope of life experiences, but the lessons from them last a lifetime.

Whatever the training, it must push us beyond our comfort zone.

Trial by Fire

This is an experience so long, intense, or pivotal, our soul is bared in a supernova blast. Suddenly we peer deeply into who and what we are.  At this point we say, “This is not working! I’m changing things starting right now!” Those who hit bottom in their addiction and turn their lives around have a similar trial by fire of the inner kind.

True Moments

A good quote summing this one up is:

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”

As the main care provider for my mother, who has Alzheimer’s and dementia, I’ve been pushed beyond normal levels of patience and creative ways to honor her. Opting out of a convenience mindset and doing the right thing often brings us to true grit moments that instill inner strength.

Notice all three of the above methods don’t fit the couch-potato personality. Nor can we find our way through them very far if we have too many issues, like addictions, weighing us down and keeping us in denial.

“Denial loves the darkness of half-truths and self-medicating narratives. Maturity requires the full light of courage, love, and perseverance.”

and

“Maturity consists of no longer being taken in by oneself.”  Proverb

So, to sum up — to Think Like a Black Belt is to think beyond the you of right now and value positive change enough to embrace the more bulletproof (mature) person you can become.

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What do you think of the song or becoming bulletproof?

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Lori Hoeck

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If you liked this post, you’ll like:

To take a stand takes courage, ownership

Self defense and owning your survival

Independence Day Song for Targets of Narcissists

.

Photo: stusev

Deciding to take a stand for something you believe in isn’t easy.

(I decided to share this with my website audience for comments. It is an edited version of my latest newsletter (#12) for those who sign up for my free self defense e-book, Think Like A Black Belt — Take Charge of Your Own Safety.)

COURAGE TO TAKE A STAND — NO WIMPS ALLOWED

(Warning, I will get a bit philosophical today)

What does it mean to “take a stand”
against a burglar in your house?
against a bully at school?
against an abusive or arrogant authoritarian figure?
against a corrupt system?
against a change at school or work you find repulsive or counterproductive?

How do you take a stand and Think Like A Black Belt?

CHUCK NORRIS
Can you imagine any senior black belt shrinking back when attacked?
Can you see Chuck Norris bumbling his way through a bully’s intimidation?
Can you visualize Jet Li or Jackie Chan falling apart when faced with making a difficult decision or public statement?

When do you decide to get in the game, get dirty, and get something done despite opposition? What is the motivation between doing something or not?

I take action when I decide to take ownership, as I talked about in an earlier newsletter. I have to buy into taking a stab at improving the situation. If I don’t take the risk, my sense of personal honor and courage die a little for not employing them.

HONOR
Personal honor, for me as a senior black belt and long-time martial arts instructor, is when my personal integrity, my principles, and my standards are built into my character to the point that I will stand by them and exercise them despite opposition, doubts, or temptation.

When was the last time you made a stand for something you believed in instead of letting the situation go unanswered?

It’s tough to go against the flow, isn’t it? It seems easier to be the wallflower, the silent majority, or even the armchair quarterback.

But in the end, a person who Thinks Like A Black Belt must be able to look in the mirror and admire the integrity of the person looking back.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Lori Hoeck

Photo: BlatantNews

Recently I mentioned a few gloom and doom articles on my family Facebook wall. I followed it all up with a rather negative assessment of the world situation.

In reply, one of my Facebook friends wrote in an exasperated tone:

“GOOD GRIEF.

“I feel like everyone is losing their minds, truly… What in the hell is everyone so scared of? [[[[FEAR, FEAR, FEAR, FEAR]]]] ……. :/ “

Here’s my reply:

“Awareness is not fear. Information is not fearful. An opinion is not fear-mongering. A book cannot create fear (so much so as to need banning). Fear is a choice, a response. Blaming others for [[[[FEAR, FEAR, FEAR, FEAR]]]] paints them into controllers of people’s emotional states and thus needing to be controlled for the welfare of all — never a good path to follow logically or socially.”

This back and forth reminded me of my earlier post on the boys in California who wore shirts with American Flags to school on Cinco de Mayo.

In both cases, one person or group is blamed for causing a negative emotional response in another person or group. By claiming the victim role and blaming others, we negate personal responsibility. When this happens, a power and control vacuum is created. Who will come in and save us? Who will make sure everyone plays nice? Who will make sure no feathers get ruffled?

This country was founded on several rights, one of which is free speech. It came with a citizenry who understood personal responsibility and could argue and debate with fervor. Writers of the freedoms deemed them important because up until that time in history, those in power controlled with a heavy hand and the arrogance of class superiority.

Once Americans had the right to speak their mind, specifically on politics and policies, power moved more into the hands of We The People. It was guarded for generations because citizens valued it enough to remain politically educated, alert, and self-controlled.

But now, it seems a talk radio host, a boy in a t-shirt, or a Tea Party sign carrier can threaten the stable fabric of our nation by inciting or causing others to act out.

If something I write or say has the power to control you, then two things — both destructive to a free society — must follow:

1) I will need to be controlled to prevent me from harming you.

2) You will need someone to watch over you because you can’t control yourself.

The result will be Big Brother “helping” us get along and a reduction in liberty.

Am I wrong?

————–

Lori Hoeck

Photo: surfstyle

Enough is enough.

From an article at msnbc website:

On any other day at Live Oak High School in Morgan Hill, Daniel Galli and his four friends would not even be noticed for wearing T-shirts with the American flag. But Cinco de Mayo is not any typical day especially on a campus with a large Mexican American student population.

Galli says he and his friends were sitting at a table during brunch break when the vice principal asked two of the boys to remove American flag bandannas that they wearing on their heads and for the others to turn their American flag T-shirts inside out. When they refused, the boys were ordered to go to the principal’s office…The boys said the administrators called their T-shirts “incendiary” that would lead to fights on campus.

So let me get this right:

1)  It’s important to label these five youths as troublemakers and run them out of the school so that what the school administrators obviously see as a violent-ridden, Mexican American student population doesn’t go crazy?

(Isn’t that a bit racist?)

2) It’s more important to let a presumed fear of mob mentality rule the day instead of addressing those who are thought to become violent?

(Isn’t that setting up more violence?)

If I follow this logic, this means it’s OK for large groups to push their will on others by creating a perception of violence if what they want isn’t given to them — in this case the ousting of kids wearing American flags.

This means those students the administrators thought might become violent are not responsible for their actions because it would have been all the fault of the five boys and their incendiary clothing?

So if a woman wearing a certain type of clothing goes into a parking lot and her amount of bare skin incites a rapist to rape her, it’s her fault?

And if I carry a purse into a bad neighborhood where gangs are known to live and I get attacked, it’s my fault for inciting them with my purse and the possibility of easy money?

And if Glenn Beck rants about Obama as a bad president and a sniper decides to try to kill Obama, it’s all Beck’s fault because the sniper was incited to do evil by someone else?

What?! Evil, violence, and criminal acts come from inside a person. The choice is theirs.

When blame is shifted away from the criminal or those threatening violence, it only incites them to feel more empowered, because, after all, it’s not really their fault, is it?

—

What are your thoughts?

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Photo credit: ayalon

When a serial killer or a child kidnapping hits the local news, enrollment in self defense and karate classes jump. It seems self defense is all too often an after-the-fact reaction (but hey, better late than never).

Still, self defense is better served when taught as a life skill like cooking or handling finances.

So why do people ignore something so valuable until after the fact or when an incident scares them?

I think part of the reason is self defense, via classes or the martial arts, has a poor track record in public relations. Many folks see self defense or karate as “chopsockey” or too scary or too time consuming.

Yet, when self defense is learned as a life skill, the resulting boundary setting abilities, the awareness, and the body language knowledge can develop a powerful and healthy sense of:

• “I am worth defending.”
• “My emotions are worth protecting.”
• “My well-being is worth leaving the influence of users, abusers, and narcissists.”

Pro-active self defense (discussed in detail in my ebook on self defense) and active self defense work hand in hand to help kids and us avoid:

• The hell of being bullied
• The hell of being stalked
• The hell of being groomed by a predator
• The hell of marrying someone abusive and controlling
• The hell of deteriorating health from an abusive boss
• The hell of not knowing what to do with an active shooter blasting through your workplace
• The hell of letting a church authority figure rule and ruined your marriage
• The hell of every sales person strong-arming you into a purchase
• The hell of going numb watching a terrorist starting to light a bomb in his underwear
• The hell of knowing your college kid had a professor get away with putting his hand down her shirt

Sounds like self defense skills are well worth tons of money and time, doesn’t it, perhaps even priceless?

Why do you think people may not see it this way?

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Thank you for visiting and learning about self defense.
If you think others can benefit, please pass it on!

Lori Hoeck

Photo: Jeremy Barwick

I’ve been thinking of a gift to give everyone for 2010:

• What thank you present can I give my readers that will take you more powerfully into a new decade?
• What gift can I give you to vastly increase your awareness skills and vigilance?
• What can I offer that you can also use to teach the same things to your children?

As my readers know, true self defense is more than just strikes, blocks, and kicks. Self defense is a mindset that must be melded with sharpened street-smarts and an enhanced awareness. So to help you, your co-workers, or your family discover how to do this, I’m offering all the best tips I use in self defense seminars for free in a self defense ebook:

I’m offering my self defense ebook, Think Like A Black Belt: Take Charge Your Own Safety, for FREE.

Yes, Free!
Get it by clicking HERE

(Hey, this is a $19.95 value!)

Inside my e-book’s beautifully presented, information-filled 115 pages, you will discover:

• 15 powerful techniques to spot the bad guys and avoid them
• How to use your own Inner Warrior’s radar system
• A bonus section on specific steps to increase awareness skills

Easy to Learn, Pro-active Self Defense!

I guarantee you will find no fluff inside! It is jam-packed with practical information and actionable tips.

No, you won’t learn how to do a jump kick or knife-hand strike.

Thinking like a black belt means thinking ahead, wearing a wary eye, and presenting yourself to the world in a way that makes you less visible to the criminals and predators who populate your life.

Now you can learn how to do this for FREE!

Free Companion Newsletter

Also included is a unique, companion newsletter that goes beyond my e-book or my website information and articles. Newsletter subscribers will take a journey of discovery into higher-level black belt thinking — the kind that builds inner strength and the mind of a gentle, but savvy, warrior.

Thank you making this site a growing and powerful voice for self defense!

Be sure to invite your friends, family, Facebook folks, and forum groups to come visit for their own free downloaded copy, too!

Farm life for a teen can have many hours of down time. This was especially true in the 1970s. Our television had only three stations, the radio stations weren’t even in FM stereo, and the phone was for serious or family matters only.

With limited options, my outlet for fun became books — tons of book — all of them adventurous:  The Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, Horatio Hornblower, and everything written by Jules Vern, Isaac Asimov, and Robert Heinlein that I could find. I even found my mother’s ancient copy of Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle by Edgar Rice Burroughs. I ravenously devoured that author’s works as well.

My appetite for adventure led me to read about various characters who knew one martial art or another.  The Hardy Boys, for example, knew judo.  As a girl with three older brothers who liked to pick on me and tease me, the idea of kicking their butts some day was very appealing.

Then came the television series Kung Fu,  the story of kung fu master Kwai Chang Cain, including flashbacks to his childhood training. Oh, man, was I ever hooked martial arts philosophy after that. It dove-tailed so well into my love of nature, farm life, and the cycles of the seasons. Here are a few quotes from the show:

Master Po: [after easily defeating the boy in combat] Ha, ha, never assume because a man has no eyes he cannot see. Close your eyes. What do you hear?
Young Caine: I hear the water, I hear the birds.
Master Po: Do you hear your own heartbeat?
Young Caine: No.
Master Po: Do you hear the grasshopper that is at your feet?
Young Caine: [looking down and seeing the insect] Old man, how is it that you hear these things?
Master Po: Young man, how is it that you do not?

—

Caine: Is it good to seek the past, Master Po? Does it not rob the present?
Master Po: If a man dwells on the past, then he robs the present. But if a man ignores the past, he may rob the future. The seeds of our destiny are nurtured by the roots of our past.

—

Caine: If you plant rice, rice will grow. If you plant fear, fear will grow.

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Your turn, what kind of childhood influences led to your current passions and dreams?

—

Thank you for visiting.

Lori Hoeck

Photo Credit: Tobias Wallin

Quality martial arts training — be it Okinawan karate, tae kwon do, tai chi, aikido, escrima, or any other style – is powerful.

The process takes new students and transforms them in ways tangible and intangible: weaknesses become strengths, the shy become confident, and the arrogant learn humility.

How does it work?  And for the purposes of my series on bullying (here are parts one and two): Can it work for the bullied as well?

Yes and no. Uncaring parents, violent environments, and other negative influences can prevent training from being effective.

But a quality instructor can work miracles with students. Even a decent instructor can help. The reason is found in the process of training. It traces back thousands of years. A lot of the bugs have been worked out.

Here are five keys to why karate training works, followed by suggestion on where to find them outside the martial arts:

Challenge
Earning a quality level black belt takes four years of consistently hard work. No shortcuts allowed. In return, a student gains prestige, a sense of accomplishment, and priceless confidence. Challenges awaken the human passion to explore undiscovered territory. A good challenge pulls the best from us.

✦  Challenges like those in the martial arts can’t be found in 10 hours of online game playing or from being a couch potato. Toastmasters, volunteering, being in a play, sports, extended travel, having a motivational mentor, and wilderness trips are just a few places challenges can be found.

Just by hefting the backpack called Challenge up to our shoulders, we automatically overcome the first major obstacle of inertia.

Failure
It is the bread to a PBJ. It is the headphones to an iPod. It is the lips to a kiss. Muy importante!  Helicopter parents need to understand it as well. No one gets a jump spinning reverse crescent kick the first time. But when students can to it well,  success is all that much sweeter, because they alone own it. Failure is but a stepping stone to success. Knowing this truth kicks insecurity out of our lives.

✦  Unfortunately, family culture often dictates how we view failure. My family ridiculed it, so attempts at success seemed too risky. Fortunately research gives proof those family cultures are wrong. Kids need to read up on this. A Google search, for example, on “stories of failures and success” yielded this:

“When those with growth mind-sets fail at a task, {Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck} detects them entering a more focused mental state as they try to figure out their mistake. And in subsequent trials, they improve. In effect, they’ve learned, and their brains have “grown.” Those with fixed mind-sets, however, never enter this focused state of learning and show little, if any, advancement.” *

Looking in the Mirror
Karate students must face their own fears, doubts, and limitations. Blaming, whining, pettiness, bossiness, giving less than 100 percent, big egos – none of these are part of true martial arts mastery. The process of training helps students overcome their own worst enemy – themselves.

✦  Lots of self help books claim to help us over our self-limiting thought processes. Some help; some don’t. I found reading about the Enneagram personality system helped. Blogging at SpaceAgeSage.com for a year helped. Dr. Wayne Dyer’s stuff is great reading, including his latest, Excuses Begone. Finding a mentor or hero or historical figure who overcame fear helps. The greatest force for change, however, is dedication to self improvement.

Less is more
Traditional martial arts training is a stair-step process based on over a thousand years of success. Learning too fast creates more ego than quality or genuine confidence. Belt colors are a relatively new invention, but they are handy measuring markers nonetheless. Each learning step also adds much-needed layers of experience that boost confidence with in-class consistency and remove insecurity via repeated successes.

✦ Goals set up with small, manageable steps help keep desired outcomes in mind. An EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) class is a great example of a goal broken down into easily learned parts. Learning some dance moves , taking up a hobby that requires a fun learning curve, or committing to a Scouting program can help develop an ability to succeed, one step at a time.

Support & mentoring
Whether a quality teacher is called “Sensei,” “Sabunim,” “Instructor,” or something else, the person represents “One who has gone before” — in other words, someone who has traveled this road and who is willing to take students on the same journey. No fakes allowed. The person must command respect, not constantly demand it. The power of encouragement and example from such mentors can not be underestimated.

✦ It is surprising how far a little kindness, some attention, consistent encouragement, a motivational challenge, and being a good example goes. Teachers, coaches, community leaders, business people, and someone already in a person’s field of interest can be mentors. The trick is not to come across as too emotionally needy or as a time suck to the mentor.

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These five keys work in the martial arts because they combine in a constant, flowing, and interconnected process dedicated to improvement. To bully-proof a child or an adult, more than one key should be layered with another. The results will be confidence, tenacity, and a mindset for success.

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Thank you for visiting and learning about self defense.
If you think others can benefit, please pass it on!

Lori Hoeck

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*Readers Digest article by Joe Kita
Photo Credit: fireflythegreat ( road sign)

Additional Social Media Links]]> http://thinklikeablackbelt.com/blog/five-reason-why-karate-training-bully-proofs-kids/feed/ 5 http://thinklikeablackbelt.com/blog/responding-vs-reacting-in-self-defense/ http://thinklikeablackbelt.com/blog/responding-vs-reacting-in-self-defense/#comments Tue, 25 Aug 2009 19:11:07 +0000 Lori Hoeck http://thinklikeablackbelt.com/?p=1190

Get off "The Attack Track" by responding instead of reacting to an attacker's attempt to steamroll you.

This is a fun party trick, but it holds a great lesson in self defense and Thinking Like a Black Belt:

“Find a fairly crisp dollar bill and hold it vertically from one end. One at a time, tell your friends to put their thumb and index finger on either side of the bill (about three inches apart, with the bill between the two digits) and ask them to catch the bill as you drop it without warning. The friends should not try to catch the bill until they see it drop. More likely than not, the friends will not be able to catch it and will see it fall untouched.”

~ Adapted from Vicki Cobb’s book Magic … Naturally.

Why won’t they be able to catch it – at least the first time or so?

The mind has to see the bill start moving before it can send out the message to the body to react. Reaction time for most people is usually slower than the drop time of the bill

Similarly, criminals in direct attacks keep themselves in control by taking actions that force their targets into the slower reaction mode.

To better understand this, image the criminal coming in like a freight train trying to run you down. You can react by staying wide-eyed on the track, raising your hands fearfully to your face, and screaming. But that only puts the attacker in control and pushes you back on your heels — the worst possible position. Or, you can start responding and doing things which get you off the attack track.

In the dollar bill scenario, the trick relies on a person’s slow reaction time. If you wanted to respond instead, you wouldn’t wait for the bill to drop before you grabbed it. It ruins the dollar-bill trick, but in self defense, such thinking can save your life.

QUESTION
This is mainly a self-defense concept article, instead of a how-to post. (I’ll get to Dennis Tueller’s 21-foot rule and reactionary gaps later.) I’m curious though, just given this information, can you pick an attack scenario and think how you could respond instead of react to it?

——

Thank you for visiting and learning about self defense.
If you think others can benefit, please pass it on!

Lori Hoeck