Comments on: 21 self defense questions you (and your teenagers) may want to think about

By: Lori Hoeck

Lori Hoeck — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:36:28 +0000

Hi Kathy,
Thank you, Kathy, for your words and the great way you put that!

Hi Davina,
Thank you for stopping back by to tell me of the reframing.
I’m curious about what part of the philosophy you would want to read about. I have yet to write under that category here, though I have the category listed. Perhaps I’ll write a post on why the martial arts isn’t “just more violence,” which I’ve heard some people say about what I do.

By: Davina

Davina — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 05:44:28 +0000

Thanks for this “reframe” Lori. “For me, it won’t be a matter of hurting them; it will be a matter of self protection.” Studying the martial arts is an intriguing idea and something that I wouldn’t mind looking into when time allows. I’m curious about the philosophy even more than the physical training.

By: Kathy | Virtual Impax

Kathy | Virtual Impax — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 12:19:20 +0000

Lori

I’ve found in parenting that giving the “reason why” is a GREAT TOOL when I’m trying to instruct my children on what they should do.

You’ve done a GREAT job of doing exactly that here.

WHY GO TO THE AWFUL “PLACES” OUTLINED ABOVE?

Because – “top black belts from good schools rarely get into fights, not because they are constantly focused on self defense so much as the inner peace from being prepared for the worst radiates out from them.”

Thanks for “taking us there” Lori. It’s a place we ALL need to go – even if we don’t want to.

By: Lori Hoeck

Lori Hoeck — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 00:52:46 +0000

Hi Barbara Ling,
Thank you. I’m glad your kids have you to watch out for them about this subject!

Yes, earphones cut a vital sensory input in self defense. It also means the person will be twice as startled and thus more easily controlled.

By: Lori Hoeck

Lori Hoeck — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 00:49:41 +0000

Hi TrinaMb,
You’re welcome!
So happy to hear you did that for your kids. And yes, age-appropriate phrasing is needed. For the 4-5 year old karate students, we’d make up stories about grumpy elephants trying to whack them or coconut monkeys trying to throw coconuts at their head to teach blocks. Yes, self defense can be fun!

Hi Janice,
Sorry to hear about your family’s ordeal. I can’t imagine the horror of it all.

I don’t want people to dwell on these questions, just come to some understanding — something to work with when you know what hits the fan. Karate students train to fight so they never have to fight. Top black belts from good schools rarely get into fights, not because they are constantly focused on self defense so much as the inner peace from being prepared for the worst radiates out from them.

By: Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach

Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 00:44:57 +0000

Excellent ‘what would I do’ questions. I go over with my kids again and again how NOT to appear the victim…and how to be alert to things that just aren’t right. This is one reason why I harp on them never to walk on the streets with earphones – too easy to miss steps behind them.

By: Lori Hoeck

Lori Hoeck — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 00:34:48 +0000

Hi Barbara,
Quite frankly, I no longer think that much about the scenarios since my responses are rather well trained, but I remember when I had no clue what to do and wished like crazy that I did.

Thank you for the positive words!

By: Lori Hoeck

Lori Hoeck — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 00:32:42 +0000

Hi Davina,
When I was between first and second degree black belt, I enjoyed learning the martial arts, but felt my life was no better or worse than any others and realized I could lay my life down rather than kill. But then I realized my family and friends have a right to have me around and my nieces have a right to having me live long enough to help them with something like this blog. I realized anyone walking a path that leads to trying to hurt me or those I care for, has chosen an unwise path, a path with consequences that allows me to protect myself and others to an equal level of force. For me, it won’t be a matter of hurting them; it will be a matter of self protection. They choose their actions, and I choose mine in response.

By: Betsy Wuebker

Betsy Wuebker — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 23:33:15 +0000

Hi Lori – Even though I’m married to the Original Boy Scout ™, as in “be prepared,” I just realized the crowbar under the bed (yeah, I know) won’t phone the police for me now that we don’t have a land line and the cellphones are charging in the office downstairs from where we sleep. Intruder in the house or strange man at the bedside? Well, I ain’t one of the Golden Girls yet, so this could be a problem, no? Great list of questions. I’ll admit after Columbine I had a little chat with my highschoolers about what they’d do. Thanks.

By: janice

janice — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:24:38 +0000

Thank God you’ve mentioned these, Lori. I can’t tell you how many times folk have called me gloomy or warned me of the dangers of attracting what we fear by focusing on it. I don’t think occasionally talking to my kids about situations like these counts. How the hell else are we supposed to give them an alert, prepared edge so that they can relax and enjoy life as resourceful, alert young folk, without turning into totally unaware targets and panicky people! These situations exist! I had family at an infant school where a massacre took place. It changes everything and you never take anything for granted in the same way again.

Thanks, Lori. You keep us real.